Several moves ago, I finally figured out what makes this experience so exhausting.
Consider how many things we do every day, every week which have become so habitual that they no longer require much in the way of concious thought. Moving to a different house, different community, different state, different job requires expending a great deal of energy making decisions about everyday life which had been lodged in the section of the brain used for "automatic pilot." Everything from where to reach for a glass in the kitchen to which way to turn to drive to the grocery to what night to put out the garbage - oops, I forgot again this week! - requires repetition in order to become second nature. The disadvantage is that it takes extra time and energy to develop all these habits. The advantage is that the change in external circumstances is an opportunity to make other changes in life and activities.
Habits and assumptions are part of our everyday life - a necessity even. Change challenges assumptions we didn't even realize we were making. As the new kid at church I'm still making all kinds of discoveries about what happens when and how because it hasn't occurred to others that I haven't made a particular assumption or formed a specific habit. No, I didn't know that the dignity offering envelopes are placed in the baskets during communion at the 9:30 service and during the passing of the peace at 11. Oh, that's why I was confused about how that offering was received.
One of the worst assumptions we can make as a church is that everyone in worship "knows" how to worship - especially the way "we" do. Every congregation gets into the habit of doing things without really thinking about what they're doing or why. Stand here, sit here, respond with this, sing that. But to really welcome the stranger, to help our children learn, and assist everyone to participate in worship, we should always assume that there are people in worship who have never been in this church - or perhaps any church. In fact, this applies to the entire life and ministry of the church. Just because we know where the fellowship hall is and that we'll find coffee and goodies there after worship doesn't mean the person sitting next to me has any idea.
In the sermon last week, I told the story of my neighbors in Pittsburgh, Edla and Fred Heinz. We were new to the community, purchasing our first home, and parents of a 3 yr old. From the day we moved in, they were there offering to help. Shortly after we arrived, Edla invited me to a women's group at the Presbyterian Church, and continued to invite me to Bible studies, special events, and worship. She would ask me to go WITH her, making sure I knew childcare was available. Whever we encountered anyone else, she always made a point to ask: "Cathy do you know Susan? Susan, do you know Cathy?"
Edla and Fred were the embodiment of hospitality and "lifestyle evangelism." Instead of assuming that others already knew what was happening or when or where or with whom, they assumed that their duty as church members was to assist others in being full participants, to help each individual they encountered to feel welcomed and at ease. They loved Pleasant Hills Community Church as their church home and wanted to share that love with others. Because of Edla and Fred, I felt at home in the church too. And that's how first I became a Presbyterian.
